Does no-one else think
that alternative mixes are a bit of a cop-out? We allow
piss-poor dance artists to produce numerous alternative
versions of hideous pieces of shit, which all remain
pieces
of shit whether dressed in samba beats or drill-n-bassed
to within an inch of their sorry lives. Make
a decision and stick by it, for fuck's
sake.
Dire. One eternal cheesy vocal sample (don't
ask me what, but to these ears it sounds like Lionel
Richie felching the Jackson Five) is backed by various
Ibiza flavoured rhythms (someone shakes a coconut, someone
bongs a bongo, every now and then the sea washes in a
steel drum). It desperately screams "SUN! SAMBUCA!
SEX! SANDALS! SKIN CANCER!" and resorts to every
one of those Klassik Summer
Choon techniques, like occasionally dropping
down to handclaps or once
in a while sounding like someone just dropped the stereo
in the bath.
I once woke up, in the early hours of the morning, to
find that the unconscious, incontinent drunk on the bunk
above me had copiously urinated in his bed. The urine
that had soaked through the mattress rained upon me for
probably half an hour before I awoke to find myself absolutely
saturated in the man's piss.
That was preferable
to this.
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