Oh, Idlewild, why did you do it? I don’t think I’ll ever really understand. I’ve tried to come to terms with this beard-stroking Yank wank new direction but after a few months with your album I’m still finding more exciting things at the bottom of my toaster.

I mean, fair play to you all for pushing at boundaries and trying new things, but you’ve ended up straying into turgid American radio rock territory and you don’t even seem to care.

It’s this enormous sense of compromise, though, that bothers me the most about what you’re doing. I know Roddy’s still got a bit of cathartic shrieking in him, somewhere. I know Rod must still hanker after some proper distorted shredwork once in a while. I know Colin must be craving a real workout on the drums. I don’t know what these new boys Gavin and Allan want, because they’re new, but I’d be surprised if it’s this. This is a collective effort – you’ve decided to write as a band and you have found your middle ground. Conveniently, it is a nice new commercial direction you’ve found. But I bet all of you are feeling like something’s missing.

Let me tell you what it is: energy. There’s no energy to anything on the new album, and this is as good an example as any. Nice harmonies, nice lyrics, nice playing, nice, nice, nice. We all preferred you when you were nasty. Except the ones who like you more now. But we don’t like them either.

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